fear – Wind Beneath Our Wings

Fearless – My Word for 2022

For the last several years I’ve been picking a new word for the year to focus on that will help me become a better person through self-development. This year my goal is to become closer yet to God so that I can clearly hear His Voice and recognize more of His signs that are leading me on His chosen path for me. So when the opportunity to join a new study course with my new church came up, called Rooted, I thought that would be the perfect word for my focus. I’m so excited to be taking this with my boyfriend, where we can both grow together and embrace what we are learning together.

Then as I was doing some self reflection, it became clear that I am already rooted with God and my real focus needs to be doing what He is leading me to do fearlessly! It was then that I changed my word for 2022 to “Fearless”! You see, we all have self-doubt. We don’t believe that we are good enough, strong enough, pretty enough, or have the knowledge, or money it takes to make our dreams come true. What we need to do instead is change our way of thinking, so I did a little research on just what it means to be Fearless. The Webster Dictionary defines Fearless as, “Free from fear: Brave” and ties to that more adjectives such as: bold, courageous, intreped, valiant, valorous, gallant, spirited, heroic, daring, etc.

Then I turned to the Bible and found that there are 100 bible verses relating to fear. One of my top favorite verses is Isaiah 41:10, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Fearless is a great trait to have, but fearlessness is the next level beyond confidence. One of the definitions of confidence, “is a feeling or belief that someone or something is good or has the ability to succeed at something.” When you put your confidence in God, know in your heart that He will strengthen you. He will help you. He will uphold you. He is for you and will always be with you. So I urge you as well to fearlessly take that next step forward into the unknown with faith, even when you are uncertain of the outcome. Know that with God you can live your dreams, build bridges to places that you can’t see, and take chances others wouldn’t even imagine.

I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11

Here’s a few more verses I found comforting:

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” ~ Joshua 1:9

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” ~ Philippians 4:6

“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” ~ Deuteronomy 31:6

Inspiration, Signs of a Life

With God’s Grace & Resilience

Signs of a Life – Part X

When you finally come out of the dark clouds and can see the sun shining brightly, your heart feels light and you begin to walk with a bounce in your step. Everything seems to be going your way and then you start to recognize how all of the puzzle pieces are coming together and it all starts to make sense. Everything you went through was for a reason.

For me, I am a much stronger person than I was three years ago. I have learned so much more about myself, my wants, my desires, and my needs. I have learned that I deserve more and that I am enough. God loves me unconditionally, and that’s the most important thing. He wants the best for all of us. Find a way to develop and grow your relationship with God. That means starting your day with Him. Be still in the quiet time and open your heart. Listen for that small soft voice in your head as the Holy Spirit guides you through your day. It doesn’t happen overnight, just keep talking with Him and trust that He is holding you in by the palm of your right hand.

The Faith that I have in Him and our relationship has grown so strong; it’s what gets me through every day and helps me when I do have doubts and concerns determining His Will for me. Right now, I feel like I am swinging on a high and God keeps pushing me higher and higher. So follow those signs He is leaving for you. Turn to Him when you are struggling. Don’t be afraid to pray big prayers. Ask and you shall receive. Trust in His timing and believe that everything you want is coming your way!

Coming out on the other side of those dark clouds is not an easy path. It is full of it’s up and downs and confusing paths that all seem to go in different directions. These paths sometimes lead you outside of your comfort zone. They may test your tenancity. You may also learn who your true friends are and those who are not. Just remember that only God knows what you’ve been through.

Only God knows the walk you’ve taken and the lessons you’ve learned. God knows your every move before you ever make it, and He knows the true story! Don’t let what other people think get you down! He sees and knows everything! People will judge you, people will talk. It’s normal and it’s to be expected because we are all sinners. Just be true to yourself. Ask for His forgiveness, and bless those who trespass against you. Love them despite their actions, just as God loves each one of us! Just as they do not know your walk, you do not know their walk either. Everyone has a story to tell. Many people hide their emotions by stuffing them deep inside themselves. The problem is that you can only stuff so much until it starts to overflow. When that happens, it starts to get raw.

When I was a kid, I always heard, “it will get worse before it gets better”, or “it will be better before you get married’, “every dark cloud, has a silver lining’….. Just hold on because it will get better! God has your back. Hold on because when you have your faith – you have everything! The best is yet to come! Just keep moving forward one day at a time! Hold your head high knowing the only love you need, is the love and respect of God!

Inspiration, Signs of a Life

No Turning Back

Signs Of A Life – Part IX

After that agonizing decision has been made and you feel totally at peace with it, do not turn back! It took a lot of work to get you to the point where you are now. Why would you want to go back only to start all over again?

I realize that this may not be a fix-all solution and everyone is different and every situation is different, but there is something to be said for your tenacity. Once you come to the realization that there is no turning back, you will feel like you can tackle anything! I so believe in signs from God and if you are reading this post, maybe this is just the sign He wanted you to see.

Remember my post last month when I asked God if that was all He could do for me when I asked to receive a heart shaped rock as a sign? When He put in my path that next rock, I was in awe! Literally breathless. All I could do was shake my head, smile, and thank Him! Only God can do something like that!

God can move mountains and He will make a way when you think there is none. We just have to trust and believe in Him. His way might not seem perfect to you, but none of us have an all-knowing gift of knowledge. We are not mind readers and we can not predict the future. What I do know though, is that God directs our steps and we need to trust Him with our walk. He’s brought us this far, so if you are having doubts, take a deep breath and ask God to calm your anxiety and guide you.

We can only see what we see and know to be true. God though, He knows everything. He knows our thoughts before we think them. He knows our steps before we take our next. He is the only one that has the crystal ball. That crystal ball is the gateway to happiness and living an abundant life. The key thing to remember though, is that it is not always just about us. You see our life touches many other people and there is a ripple effect. Every action we take creates a chain reaction and God knows the ending and where the next wave will crash. So we have to learn to always look for the good in any situation and try to look past our immediate needs and suffering. Look for the good that may have come to someone else as a result of your discomfort. Do not fear though, God will give you something even better in return. Even if you are unsure of what will happen next. Relying on God to direct our steps is the only sure way to get to our next destination – God’s plan for us.

Inspiration, Signs of a Life

When We Have Doubts

Signs of a Life – Part VIII

How many times have you made a decision, acted on it, and then started doubting your decision and yourself all together? Making some of our biggest life-changing decisions are very hard to do; painstaking in fact! We overthink about it. We cry about it. We talk to others and gain advice. We talk to God. We get counseling. We make our list of pros and cons. Despite all of the steps we take and the support we gain, we still doubt our decision. We wonder and question ourselves over and over as to whether this was God’s plan for us. Why would God let us go through such pain?

It’s the lessons we learn as we walk through these tough times that make us stronger. He is making us stronger and better individuals all the time. He tests our abilities and our weaknesses and then builds us up. What I’ve learned through this entire decision making process is simply to trust God. Yes, I’ve had my doubts; and yes, I’ve cried many tears. Through it all though, I did learn to trust God and listen for His small soft voice in my head. The hardest part was learning how to decipher His voice, your thoughts, and the devil that is always trying to bully us and gain our attention. It took me a while, but I learned that if my decision does not bring me a feeling of peace and certainty, then it is not the right decision. You see, God gives us peace!

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” ~ John 16:33

In my circumstance, I had to give it yet one more try. Despite the many attempts in the past, broken promises, and yes, even lies, I had to give it one more try in order to feel at peace with my decision. Did that delay my progress? Yes, maybe a little but it left me feeling confident in what had to be done next. It allowed me to make my list of to-do’s and start crossing them off one by one and feeling proud of my accomplishments and confident in my decision.

I must say though, even after the dust settled, I still started doubting myself again. It’s a constant battle that we all must fight. When you are feeling that self-doubt, I encourage you to turn to God and He will help you get your heart back in alignment with His Plan and the peace He has in store for you will come. However you talk with God, whether it be silently in your thoughts, journaling, or spoken prayer, His hand is right there for the taking. You just have to reach out! Ask for His guidance, His strength, His love, His courage, His healing, His forgiveness; ask and believe it is yours!

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” ~ Mark 11:24

Signs of a Life

Driving With Jesus In Faith

“Signs of a Life” – Part VI

When times get tough and I need to clear my head, I love to jump in the car and just drive. I play my spiritual playlist pretty loudly, and have been known to bang on the steering wheel a lot! I’m always looking for signs from God while I’m driving too. Heart shaped clouds and crosses show up pretty often. Even when they don’t though, God is with me always.

I remember not too long ago making one of the toughest decisions of my life. I wasn’t quite to a place of peace with this decision, and I think that is why it was so difficult. I had planned to take the road that many of us married couples take when things aren’t working out and decide to walk away. I had been at this point in my mind before many times, but never acted on it because of how badly I wanted it to work out. I didn’t believe my husband would make the change that he needed to make for his health and our marriage, but he did give it a try so I felt I owed it to both of us to give it yet one more try. Yet, I had heard before that this time would be different. I was so torn apart. Driving down the road talking with God and doubting this decision and trying to hear God’s voice telling me what to do. I wasn’t hearing anything, so I decided I was going to end it once and for all.

It was at that point that God’s voice spoke up! He told me to give it one more try. He also told me how to present this opportunity in conversation. God gave me the words to say. God gave me the strength to speak His Words. God gave me Hope. God gave us a second chance. God gave us a second chance.

Unfortunately, despite the desire and the attempt, it didn’t last two weeks. This confused me even more. After all, if this was God’s plan and He spoke the words to me to give it one more try. Why then did it not work out? I’m sure many of you run into situations like this yourself. Those unanswered prayers. Why God? Why did you have me take this road if you knew it wasn’t going to work?

Many people give up on God at times like this. I was able to look for the good. There is always good in everything that God has planned. Yes, sometimes, even the unanswered prayers are God’s greatest gift. I love that song by Garth Brooks! In my situation, God gave us the opportunity to realize that no matter how hard we try, somethings we can not change or are willing to change. God gave us the ability to know in our hearts that we gave it our all. Had we not taken that one last chance to make it right, we would have wondered what would have happened if we had tried.

God gave us Peace!

Then the struggle became real and God was there too giving us both strength to get through the storm that tore us apart. Behind every cloud though, there are blue skies. In life we will always have tough decisions we have to make. I urge you to turn to God always in Faith that He will make the path clear. Ask for His guidance and His Will to be done! Listen for that small soft voice in your head and follow His lead! With God you can’t go wrong!

Signs of a Life

Do You Know Who Your Guardian Angels Are?

“Signs of a Life” – Part III

During my recovery in the hospital, I also learned that God is not the only one watching over me from above. When I was in and out of sleep after my heart attack, I went into a dream state where I saw three individuals sitting on a bench much like this one. Except, the bench was just above my bed sitting in the clouds and I could see many silhouettes of people, whom I believed to be angels in the distance. I could see the sides of the first two gentleman closest to me as they were sitting there just waiting. I recognized right away the first man was my father. He looked exactly like he did back in the 70’s with his long sideburns, yet he could not look down at me. The second man, a bit taller than my dad, was my stepfather. He was looking over my dad and down on me with such a loving, yet concerned, look. The third man, I could not see, but somehow I just knew in my heart it was my grandfather. That surprised me more than anything, because for so long I thought my grandmother was one of my guardian angels. Oh, I’m sure she’s still looking down and watching, but this would be the second time now that my grandfather has come to me in a dream just like this and the only time I have dreamed about him since his death.

There is something to be said about the power of three and this holds true for me as well. Three has always been my lucky number and a number I gravitate to. I love to give three kisses good night or goodbye – one is never enough! One night when I was so stressed out, I felt the presence of someone sitting on my bed behind me three times. It was as if one person sat down and got up, and then another, and then yet another. I swore someone was there; but every time I looked, there was no one. I was awake and it kinda freaked me out a little. Eventually, I just brushed it aside and thought it must be my grandmother checking in on me. After this dream in the hospital though, I now know it was my three guardian angels blessing me and letting me know everything was going to be alright.

Do you know who your guardian angels are? How do they show up to you? Some leave dimes, some show up as butterflies, feathers, hearts. Our loved ones find many ways to show us they are still among us and with us. Never fear for they are still very near! This dream I had in the hospital, it was very real and I no longer have fear of dying. I know my loved ones will be with me one day and we will all meet on the other side – the never ending journey with God!

Inspiration, Signs of a Life

God Has A Plan For Each Of Us

“Signs of a Life” – Part II

As I heard the nurse calling for the paddles, I remember screaming in my head, “God, I’m not ready to die!” The next thing I remember is grabbing at my face because I couldn’t breathe. As I came to, my nurse was getting off of me and so many people were in my room in a panic of chaos. It was then I realized I did not die, but now things really got serious and things didn’t look so good!

Over the next several days I was watched around the clock and I realized that God definitely had a plan for me. Jeremiah 29:11 eventually became a Sign from God and my favorite verse in the Bible.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

While God never promised us life would be easy, He did say He would be right there with us guiding us and holding us by our right hand. He did this for me that I am certain. There are times in life when God just has to take control. He realizes we need a break and sometimes forces us to do so! That’s what He did for me and I will be forever grateful.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ~ Isaiah 41:10

Not only did I change through self-development, but my experience also helped change the course of how leadership at my job manages their projects and their teams now. If my experience helped even just one other person, it was all worth it! Since then, I am no longer intimated by anyone. I take life as it comes and know that God always has a better plan than I do. His timing is all that matters. If something doesn’t work out the way I planned, I am thankful that His plan will be much greater than I ever imagined. Trust me, I’m human and sometimes it does take me a little while to swallow my disappointment, but it doesn’t take long before God shows His hand and I am moving forward with much anticipation and excitement of what comes next in this journey with Him by my side!

Signs of a Life

It’s Not Worth It!!!

“Signs of a Life” – Part I

Much like many people, I’m sure I’m not alone when I say I’ve lived a stressful life. We all face stress. Stress comes to all of us in many ways and we all deal with stress and react to stress differently. For me, I thought I handled it really well. I was strong during the moment when I needed to be for me and my family, though when I was alone I would break down for moment of release. I would recover and do it all over again time after time. I thought I could handle anything.

As a young teen, I watched my mother suffer five years of her life through a nervous breakdown and never knew if my mom would survive that ordeal. Thank God, she did as God had a plan for her. He miraculously healed her when the doctors gave up on her. You can read about her miraculous healing in our first book, “Signs from God” that we published in 2014 and made available on Amazon. My mother has an amazing story, and while her story will always be a part of mine, my story has allowed us to expand our purpose even further. As you can imagine, watching your mother suffer something so traumatic as this, it makes you grow up fast and you have to learn how to handle that stress. This is where it all started for me at a young age.

At the age of 53, my stress level hit its peak and I broke! On April 27, 2016, I went to work like any other day, but this day I was managing a difficult project. In fact, one of the biggest projects my team had worked before. We were getting oversight from our upper management team and leadership and we were taking the brunt of the project’s failure due to issues outside of our control. I knew my team and I were doing everything we possibly could, but we were already set up to fail when this project was incorrectly solutioned. This particular day, I was in a meeting with someone that intimidated me so bad and I was so frustrated because he was not listening to me. When I am made to feel like my opinion doesn’t matter, I clam up. I think that is probably a normal response, and many people do the same thing. Some people might just brush that off and forget about it, but I let it fester, and over the course of several hours it built up so much that I found myself heading to the hospital to be checked out that evening!

The results were positive and they admitted me. I was there for ten long nights with lots more stress and anxiety to follow. Along with cardiac arrest, tests, and even a pump inserted up to my heart to relieve it from having to do all the work. This experience changed my life in so many ways. Some of which I will share with you in this series of blogs!

How do you handle your stress? Do you internalize it or do you release it? I’ve learned it’s important to understand your triggers. So give that some thought as we move through this series together!

Signs of a Life

As I Look Back I Thank God For Everyday!

“Signs of a Life” – Welcome

As I sit back and look over the past three and half years, I thank God every single day for giving me a second chance. I used to think I was so strong that I could handle any situation. I used to think I could help everyone simply because I wanted to. I used to think that I could help people become better people. I used to think I could make a difference. Now, I understand so much more of the bigger picture. It’s not all about you and me. We are such a small piece of the puzzle in God’s masterpiece. Think about it, without every piece to the puzzle the picture is never complete. Things happen for a reason and we cannot change anyone. We can only change our reaction to the situations we are placed in.

The older I get, the more I am seeing the puzzle pieces come together. Like a book has its Chapters; a Play has its Parts; and, a Series has its Seasons. Life too has its Parts, Chapters, and is a series of events that must happen before we can see for ourselves the amazing never-ending Life God has in store for us all. He never promised it was going to be easy and that we wouldn’t experience heartache or pain. Though, I can say that every mountain I’ve had to climb has given me strength and determination to face the next mountain knowing that God will be there to guide me and pull me to safety every single time.

This Spring, I was honored to have been asked to become the subject of a photo-journal storyboard project from an acquaintance at the time. She has since become a very good friend, and I will cherish the memories we shared during this project for the rest of my life and I know we will continue to grow our friendship for a long time. This opportunity was very enlightening to me as she shared with me recently how she was able to capture my story. Seeing her interpretation through her lens was amazing. She named her project, “Signs of a Life”. Seeing how she was able to capture the past three years of my life in photos was a true testament to her God-given talent. To hear how I touched her life was such a heart-warming feeling, it gives me chills now and left me speechless as I turned the pages of the book.

I would like to share this story and her interpretation with all of you if you are interested in following along. I experienced a heart attack in 2016 and God gave me another chance. He opened my eyes, my desires, and my realizations that I deserve more! That Chapter of my life has ended, and I am facing a new and exciting Chapter that will be a page turner for sure. God gave me a talent and a dream to write, and lately He has been after me to share my story and my love of God and how He works in my life so that I can be a light to others. Heidi has given me a unique way of sharing. You will be able to feel my story through her photos and my words.

I encourage you to follow along – you won’t be sorry!

Signs From God

Sometimes You Just Have to Take a Chance!

Jesus said to him, “Get up, pick up your pallet and walk.” ~ John 5:8

The road less traveled may not be an easy road to follow. It might get a little muddy. The path may not be so certain and your destination may be unknown, but one thing remains …. you are not alone. Our minds may be filled with doubt and confusion, but when we walk with God, He leads us. He plants our feet where He wants them to go. He knows our next step, before we even take it and the step after that.

Sometimes we just have to take a chance and listen to that voice in our head because it is most likely the Holy Spirit trying to talk some sense into us. He’s trying to tell us that God has something amazing in store for us. This past year has been that for me, and it hasn’t been easy. Yes, I’ve had doubts. I’ve had anxiety attacks, and I’ve been scared. During these times, I’ve turned to God for support and He has always been there for me. Making life-changing decisions are never easy. Taking chances are scary. So, I talk to God a lot. I ask for signs. I ask to hear his voice. Recently, I started asking to hear his voice more clearly! I even posted recently about the heart-shaped rock I found by the stream, and how I dared to ask God if that was the best He could do. I even thought to myself that was pretty bold of me, but hey it’s God right, and seconds later I found this rock with not only a heart engraved in itself, but a cross.

Since I dared God to do better, He has in so many ways, it’s unbelievable. Yet, when I think I know the answer or the route He is leading me, He makes a turn. I’m faced with a little disappointment, because my plan didn’t turn out as expected. That quickly changes though cause I know His plan is better than mine. Low and behold something new appears: an answer, a new possibility, a small detour, or is it maybe a new future of hope and happiness.

Since this rock was found, I was also Baptized again and this time in the Ocean. It doesn’t get better than that! I washed away all of my old ways and old sins (some known and some unknown) and I feel like I am living my best life ever. I am comfortable with who I am and where I’m going.

Are you living your best life? I urge you to contemplate this question. Give your worries and burdens to God and let Him lead your next step too! Pick up your pallet and rise to a new life, a new way of being and seeing. Ask Him, “Is this the best you can do God?” Then, with the faith of a mustard seed, believe He has plans to make it better than you could ever imagine! Speak positive affirmations of belief and put your trust in God!